I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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