Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize