did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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