I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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