you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize