Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
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