so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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