If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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