I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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