the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
this beer tastes like vomit already
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She told me I should be a condom model.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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