man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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