Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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