best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
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It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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