Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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