he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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