There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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