He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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