This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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