guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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