It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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