i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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