I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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