Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
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I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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