I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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