she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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