last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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