i think my mom watched the whole time
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Blood and glitter go together right?
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I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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