this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize