I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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