shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize