last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize