Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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