He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize