This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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