i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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