UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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