She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize