When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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