bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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