Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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