Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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