I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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