there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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