I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize