brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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