Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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