Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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