I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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