if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize