Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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